As hard as this is for me to share with you I feel that I must in order to start the healing process. Where do I go from here with my marriage? At this point I just do not know. I do however know that things can not continue as they are for all involved nor will they be the same as they were just a few short hours ago.
He did so well for so long but in the last year he started to fall off the wagon as he says. I saw the signs but I guess I was living in denial and didn’t really want to admit it was happening because I was so proud to be able to say my husband is a recovering alcoholic. But tonight I have to face the truth and admit that he is not in recovery. He is just an alcoholic and will be for the rest of his life. I honestly can not even fathom what that really means because I do not drink and can not imagine what it is even like to want a drink so bad that it blurs your judgement of what is right and wrong. I don’t understarnd what it is like to let an addiction rule your life.
He knows that he screwed up and he wants the help more now that he has ever wanted anything in his life.It will be a life long struggle for him but he has to do something about his addiction and get the help he needs or he WILL lose his family.It has come down to an ultimatum, his family or the alcohol. Which does he want more?
Where does my life go from here, it has already been turned upside down but will it be even worse? I have no clue at this point. We play the waiting game until Friday